Make a Difference in This World

I would like to comment if I may. I am married and have adopted eight children through the Division of Family Services. Our children have been abused, abandoned or neglected in some way or form. Anyway, I just want people to know that labeling any child is very harmful to them. It makes them feel like something is very wrong with them and I think people who adopt should remember that. We have had people introduce us to their friends as Janet and Mike and their adopted children or this is Charlie and Kathy, this is their biological son Mike and adopted daughter Molly. I am very embarrassed when people have to point out to everyone that they adopted someone. I guess it is a big deal to some people, but I do not understand why you just can't introduce them as family and leave it at that. It is not that I am embarrassed that we adopted or regret adopting in any means.

I also want to comment on telling the children that they are adopted. We were told to tell them right up front that they were adopted. I have a theory: you cannot build a family or relationships on lies, and the more upfront and truthful or open you are the better the person you (they) will be. I find that this has been true for us. I know that some of our children were older and knew they were adopted, but they also knew we loved them for who they are and not for who they are not. They seem to understand life better and can deal with life better than others, in general. Now don't get me wrong, our lives have not been all roses, but I would not trade our children for anything in the world.

I am proud of my children. My oldest is in the Marines. Adam is in Japan as we speak; he's 21 and came to us when he was 5. Joe is in school; he is 20 and came to us when he was 4. Jason is 17, and he came to us when he was 18 months. Krysti is 15, and she came to us when she was 4 days old. Mikey is 13; he came to us when he was 19 months. Mitchell is 12; he came to us when he was 7. Devin is 6; he came to us when he was 20 months. Merissa is 2; she came to us when she was 2 days old.

We were foster parents from 1985 until 2002 and have taken in several children, most of whom returned to their families. We have stopped taking in children because our house is full and I work full time, but in the event that we still have our health and means to support later in life, we will consider taking more children in.

I would not trade what we did for anything in the world. It makes me feel very good about myself that we could love and touch so many lives and make a difference in this world.

California